Six Attempts, One Victory

I was introduced to this life-empowering practice in May 2013.

Over the years, I had overcome many personal and professional challenges through daimoku and Buddhist practice.

But the biggest battle of my life was still waiting for me.

Balancing Family Responsibility And Personal Dreams

In January 2024, my father, who had long been suffering from hernia and several other health complications, was hospitalized for surgery.

The doctors strongly advised us to move out of our second-floor house because climbing stairs had become dangerous for him.

But financially, shifting homes felt impossible.

At that time, my daily routine became extremely demanding.

I would:

Chant 90 minutes of daimoku every day

Study Ikeda Sensei’s guidance from Value Creation

Conduct four home visits every week

Support my father’s shop after office daily

Watching my father recover and return to work within a month gave me fresh determination.

Yet another challenge soon shook me deeply.

I failed my CS Final examination again.

When My Dream Started Feeling Impossible

In June 2024, I appeared for the exam again.

And once again, I failed.

This was my fifth unsuccessful attempt.

By then, becoming a Company Secretary no longer felt like a realistic dream.

I was exhausted emotionally and mentally.

Financial pressure at home kept increasing.

My parents’ health issues continued.

And somewhere deep inside, I had begun accepting defeat.

I reached out to my YMD leaders almost hoping they would tell me to quit.

But instead, one leader shared stories about:

Michelangelo’s perseverance

The never-give-up spirit of Popeye

Oddly enough, those simple examples touched me deeply.

Another senior shared Ikeda Sensei’s guidance:

“Self-awakening is most important.... a person of self-awakening, even if temporarily defeated, can go on to build a future vaster, broader, deeper and greater than that of the person who originally won.”

(A Youthful Diary, 40)

Those words reignited something inside me.

Starting Again With A Deeper Determination

I realized that my struggle was not merely about clearing an exam.

It was about:

Developing perseverance

Winning over self-doubt

Becoming a person who never gives up

With renewed determination, I restarted my preparation from scratch.

I increased my daimoku and strengthened my efforts for kosen-rufu.

As HDC, I:

Took Gosho lectures in my district

Supported concept studies

Visited at least three student division members every week

Held sincere dialogues with friends

I also attended the Mentor Memorial Hall Training Course at BSG Headquarters.

That experience deepened my resolve even further.

I felt I was no longer studying only for personal success.

I was fighting to prove the power of never giving up.

Protection Appearing In Unexpected Ways

My determination was tested repeatedly.

Because our home was a small two-room house, I had always depended on public libraries to study.

Then, during the heavy rains of August 2024, most libraries shut down due to waterlogging.

Suddenly, I had nowhere to study.

But just when things looked impossible, an acquaintance unexpectedly offered me his home for studying until my exams were over.

To me, this felt like undeniable protection through faith.

I studied harder than ever before and maintained my 90 minutes of daimoku daily without fail.

Encouraging Others While Fighting My Own Battle

Interestingly, during this period, I kept meeting people struggling with:

Exam failures

Job stress

Anxiety

Loss

Family disharmony

Even while battling my own discouragement, I prayed sincerely for them.

I shared my experiences and Sensei’s guidance and connected them to leaders.

In 2024 alone, I introduced five people to the practice.

All five became actively engaged in Gakkai activities.

During this time, one Gosho passage became my constant motivation:

“[Y]ou had better cut short your sleep by night and curtail your leisure by day and ponder this! You must not spend your lives in vain and regret it for ten thousand years to come.”

(‘The Problem to Be Pondered Night and Day’, WND-1, 622)

The Most Memorable Day Of My Life

In December 2024, I appeared for my CS Final examination in the highest life condition I had ever experienced.

After the exams, another long-standing prayer also began moving toward fulfillment.

My family finally secured a spacious three-bedroom apartment in the same locality.

The new house had:

A lift for my father

Good ventilation and sunlight

Parking space

Most importantly, enough room for Gakkai meetings

After years of struggle, we finally moved into our kosen-rufu home.

Then came February 25, 2025.

A date I will never forget.

After:

Five years of struggle

Six attempts

Countless moments of self-doubt

I finally cleared the CS Final examination.

I officially became a qualified Company Secretary.

At that moment, I felt overwhelming gratitude toward my mentor and this practice.

I realized that the greatest victory was not merely passing the exam.

It was becoming the kind of person who refused to surrender despite repeated defeat.

A Line That Changed My Life

Reflection

Repeated failure can slowly convince a person that they are incapable.

After failing multiple times, I had unknowingly started defining myself through my defeats.

But Buddhism taught me something profound:

Temporary defeat does not decide one’s destiny.

What truly matters is whether we continue standing up again and again.

I also realized that perseverance becomes sustainable when connected to a purpose larger than oneself.

By supporting youth, encouraging members, and advancing kosen-rufu even during my struggles, my own life force strengthened naturally.

The journey transformed me from someone seeking external success into someone determined to become internally undefeated.

Key Takeaways

Repeated failures do not determine one’s future.

Self-awakening is the foundation of long-term victory.

Consistent effort eventually transforms impossible situations.

Supporting others strengthens one’s own life condition.

Faith develops perseverance, confidence, and resilience.

Moving Forward

I now determine to:

Become a trustworthy professional

Raise 13 YMD members in my region

Accomplish two shakubuku

Chant two hours daily

Study the Gosho, NHR, and VC every day

I also determine to find a kosen-rufu-aligned Company Secretary role possessing beauty, benefit, and good.

Most importantly, I will continue striving to become a beacon of hope for others who are struggling to believe in themselves.