Six Attempts, Endless Daimoku, And A Victory I Refused To Abandon
I belong to Guru Har Sahai, a small town in Punjab.
I was introduced to Nichiren Buddhism in December 2018 while I was still a student.
At that time, I had one powerful dream:
I wanted to become a civil servant.
After I began chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo, this dream became deeply connected to my mentor.
I prayed not only to succeed personally but to bring glory to Ikeda Sensei through my victory.
Faith Became My Foundation
As I connected more deeply with the Gakkai, my life gradually began changing.
Attending meetings, supporting joyful discussion meetings, reading Value Creation , studying Sensei’s writings, and home visiting fellow YWD members became part of my daily life.
Over the years, I fought for kosen-rufu in three different districts.
Every district taught me something important about responsibility, compassion, and perseverance.
At the same time, I was fiercely challenging my UPSC dream.
Failing Again And Again
I appeared for the UPSC examination with great determination.
But I failed the Prelims.
Not once.
Not twice.
But four times.
Each failure hurt deeply.
Yet every time, my Buddhist practice helped me stand up again.
I would chant daimoku, study Sensei’s encouragement, cry if needed — and then start preparing again.
Gradually, something inside me changed.
I stopped fearing exams.
I started appearing for them in a much higher life condition.
During this same period, I also began pursuing LLB from Delhi University.
Reaching The Interview Stage
In 2023, during my fifth UPSC attempt, I finally reached the interview stage.
For a moment, it felt like years of struggle were finally bearing fruit.
But I could not clear the final stage.
That failure devastated me.
It genuinely felt like falling from the top of a mountain.
At that time, Nichiren Daishonin’s words became my lifeline:
“[T]he three obstacles and four devils will invariably appear, and the wise will rejoice while the foolish will retreat.”
(‘The Three Obstacles and Four Devils’, WND-1, 637)
I determined not to retreat.
Around this same time, I enshrined my Gohonzon.
That step deepened my determination tremendously.
Creating Causes Through Kosen-rufu
Even while struggling internally, I did not withdraw from Gakkai activities.
I continued striving wholeheartedly alongside my YWD members at the chapter level.
I participated in:
Plastic Collection Drives
Youth Sports Festival
General Meetings
Welcome duties
BSG exams
Contribution activities
Each activity became an opportunity to expand my life.
Each campaign strengthened my faith.
My Final UPSC Attempt
In 2024, I decided to challenge UPSC one final time.
It was my sixth and last attempt.
I studied intensely and fought with everything I had.
But once again, I could not clear the Mains examination.
This time, my fundamental darkness surfaced very strongly:
Fear
Despair
Self-doubt
I questioned myself repeatedly.
Still, I kept fighting to protect my faith and self-belief.
I continuously sought guidance from senior leaders and challenged myself to apply it sincerely.
One guidance from Ikeda Sensei especially stayed with me:
“When we are aware of our mission as Bodhisattvas of the Earth, we can find a way to fight, a way to contribute, no matter what kind of constraints or restrictions limit our actions.”
(The New Human Revolution, vol. 30)
Choosing To Stand Up Again
Although I enrolled for LLM and began working under a lawyer to gain legal experience, my dream of serving society through civil services never disappeared.
Through daimoku and faith in the Gohonzon, I made a fresh decision:
I would challenge the State Public Civil Services examination.
In December 2024, I appeared for the UPPSC Provincial Civil Service preliminary examination.
I cleared it.
That small victory reignited my fighting spirit.
Fighting With Renewed Determination
In 2025, I took responsibility as a YWD Region Chief and also began supporting Student Division members in my zone.
I maintained consistent daimoku and studied nearly 8–9 hours daily for the second stage of the examination.
At the same time, I continued doing home visits sincerely.
Last year alone, I conducted more than 100 home visits.
The waiting period between exams and results tested my patience tremendously.
I was also simultaneously struggling with:
Accommodation issues
Food and financial adjustments
Friendship challenges
Emotional ups and downs
But whenever negativity surfaced, I challenged it by creating causes in faith.
My March 16th Victory
On February 4th — Indian Kosen-rufu Day — I received the second-stage results.
I had cleared them successfully.
Then came another mystical moment.
My interview was scheduled for March 16th.
The date itself filled me with tremendous joy and courage.
Toward the interview, I participated wholeheartedly in youth division daimoku sessions and study meetings.
During the interview itself, I unexpectedly received the opportunity to speak about working for the happiness of others.
Deep inside, I felt my entire journey had prepared me for that moment.
The Victory I Waited Years For
On March 29th, I received the final result.
I had cleared the UPPSC examination with an overall Rank 7.
I was allotted the post of Sub-Registrar.
At that moment, tears filled my eyes.
After years of struggle, failure, daimoku, self-doubt, and perseverance, I could finally report victory to Ikeda Sensei.
More than the result itself, what moved me deeply was realizing how much I had transformed internally through this journey.
I had become:
More confident
More resilient
More compassionate
More courageous
Key Takeaways
Repeated failure does not define one’s future.
Faith helps transform fear into courage.
Kosen-rufu activities strengthen inner resilience.
Human revolution is often more valuable than external success.
Victory comes to those who continue standing up.
Moving Forward
I now determine to become a truly capable disciple of my mentor in my new land of mission.
I will continue:
Advancing kosen-rufu joyfully
Encouraging youth members
Deepening my faith
Creating victory after victory for Ikeda Sensei
No matter what challenges appear in the future, I now know that through daimoku, courage, and sincere efforts for others, I can continue climbing every mountain in front of me.