Learning to Let My Family Bloom in Their Own Way
Rajiv Malhotra, a Delhi-based businessman and father of two, once believed he was the ideal husband, father, and son.
“I genuinely thought I knew what was best for everyone,” he reflects today.
Like many hardworking providers, Rajiv expressed love through responsibility and discipline.
But whenever family members made choices different from his expectations, he would become emotionally withdrawn and uncomfortable.
Without realizing it, he had begun confusing care with control.
Everything began to change in 2005, when a neighbor repeatedly encouraged him to attend a Buddhist discussion meeting organized by Bharat Soka Gakkai.
Though hesitant initially, Rajiv was deeply moved by the sincerity of a senior leader he met there.
That one meeting changed the direction of his life.
Beginning the Journey of Human Revolution
After starting his Buddhist practice, Rajiv began attending meetings regularly and seriously studying the writings of Daisaku Ikeda.
“Under the strict nurturing of my leaders, I made prayers, home visits, and study the foundation of my practice.”
For the first time, instead of focusing on changing others, he began examining himself honestly.
One memory especially stayed with him.
Years earlier, his wife Rashmi had expressed interest in painting.
Rajiv had discouraged her and insisted she support the family business instead, believing it to be the more practical path.
At that time, the matter quietly ended there.
Then another challenge emerged.
Rajiv had always assumed his son Vishesh would eventually join the family business.
But nearly fifteen years ago, Vishesh expressed his desire to pursue music professionally.
“That evening, I remember sitting silently after dinner,” Rajiv recalls.
“I felt disappointed, confused, and even fearful about his future.”
Sometimes, the hardest thing is not changing others — but changing ourselves.
Around that time, he encountered this guidance from Sensei:
“To open the Gosho is to open our life. By reading the Daishonin’s writings and seeking to learn from his vast and boundless state of life, let’s challenge ourselves to break out of the shell of our small self.”
(Victory Cheers, Jan. 2015, p. 57)
Rajiv decided to challenge his narrow mindset through abundant daimoku and sincere study.
Gradually, he began internalizing the Buddhist principle of “cherry, plum, peach, and damson” — the idea that every individual possesses a unique mission and way of flourishing.
“That understanding completely changed my view of love,” he says.
“True love means giving people the space to become themselves.”
When Encouragement Replaces Control
As Vishesh stepped into the music world, he encouraged his mother to reconnect with her passion for painting.
This time, Rajiv responded differently.
Instead of resisting, he supported both of them wholeheartedly.
Over the years, he watched with gratitude as:
Vishesh built an international music career
Rashmi established herself as a recognized painter
The atmosphere at home transformed completely
Today, Rashmi’s artwork has been exhibited nationally and internationally, with some works displayed at prestigious locations including Rashtrapati Bhavan and Delhi airport terminals.
Vishesh has performed globally and continues building his musical journey while remaining deeply connected to his family.
Rajiv says:
“The greatest victory was not professional success. It was learning to respect each person’s individuality.”
Encouragement transformed not only his family — but also his own heart.
Turning Crisis Into Growth
In 2025, Rajiv faced one of the biggest business crises of his life.
International tariff changes severely disrupted his import-dependent business.
Shipments stopped suddenly, and uncertainty surrounded the future.
Yet, instead of becoming consumed by fear, Rajiv deepened his Buddhist practice and focused even more on encouraging others.
Around the same time, he began supporting a struggling district as an Honorary District Chief.
Discussion meetings that once saw only two or three attendees gradually became vibrant gatherings filled with new members, future division youth, and joyful connections.
“Sharing Buddhism during that difficult period completely changed my life condition,” Rajiv says.
At home too, his family refused to surrender to despair.
Together, they continued chanting daimoku with determination while Rajiv explored entirely new business opportunities.
Unexpectedly, orders began arriving from countries he had never previously worked with.
What initially appeared to be collapse eventually became the highest business growth period of his life.
“The most difficult period brought the most unexpected expansion,” he reflects.
When his inner state changed, new possibilities began appearing externally as well.
A Different Definition of Success
Today, every member of Rajiv’s family is flourishing in their own field.
His daughter Jyotsana, a dentistry postgraduate, supports her husband in their clinic while raising two daughters.
Vishesh continues his global music journey.
Rashmi has found immense healing and joy through art.
But Rajiv believes the greatest transformation was internal.
“Earlier, I wanted everyone to live according to my understanding. Buddhism taught me how to expand my heart instead.”
A Line That Stayed With Me
“True love means giving people the space to become themselves.”
Reflection
Many relationship conflicts do not arise because love is absent.
They arise because fear quietly disguises itself as control.
We fear:
Our children making mistakes
Loved ones choosing uncertain paths
Outcomes we cannot predict
But Buddhism teaches that genuine happiness emerges when we respect the dignity and individuality of each person.
Sometimes, the greatest transformation in a family begins not when others change — but when one person undergoes human revolution.
Key Takeaways
Real love supports individuality instead of controlling it.
Human revolution begins when we challenge our own ego.
Prayer and study help us respond wisely instead of emotionally.
Difficult times can become turning points for unexpected growth.
Encouraging others elevates our own life condition.
Forward With Determination
Today, Rajiv continues striving with the spirit:
“Ever forward with Sensei, for Sensei!”
He remains determined to:
Encourage more families
Support inactive members
Introduce many people to Buddhism
Contribute toward creating countless happy and harmonious lives
Inspired by a published Buddhist experience and retold with commentary, reflection, and adapted storytelling.