From Anxiety to Unshakable Courage

I began practicing Nichiren Buddhism in 2017, and over the years I experienced many benefits through chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. However, one of the greatest battles of my life was not against external circumstances—it was against fear itself.

During the COVID pandemic, I found myself overwhelmed by the suffering around me. Every day brought news of illness, uncertainty, and loss. Gradually, fear began to consume me. I started experiencing anxiety attacks, persistent headaches, blurred vision, sleepless nights, and an inability to concentrate. Some nights I could barely sleep for two hours. Even simple daily activities became difficult, my confidence collapsed, and my performance at work suffered.

Instead of surrendering to despair, I based my challenge on Nichiren Daishonin's encouragement:

"Nam-myoho-renge-kyo is like the roar of a lion. What sickness can therefore be an obstacle?" (WND-1, 412)

I made a determination that I would defeat this inner suffering through faith. With consistent encouragement from my leaders, I gradually increased my daimoku from just a few minutes each day to one hour daily. Little by little, my life condition began to rise. I started participating in meetings again, regained hope, and felt as though I had pressed the reset button on my life.

Just as I was rebuilding myself, another far greater challenge arrived.

My father tested positive for COVID. Within a few days, my mother, sister, and I also became infected, followed shortly by my brother. Our family already carried multiple health concerns. My mother was an asthma patient and a cancer survivor. My father was diabetic, and my brother suffered from chronic respiratory issues. The situation appeared overwhelming.

I immediately turned to the Gohonzon and made one determination: every member of my family would recover safely at home.

I drew tremendous courage from another passage in the Gosho:

"But your faith alone will determine all these things. A sword is useless in the hands of a coward. The mighty sword of the Lotus Sutra must be wielded by one courageous in faith." (WND-1, 412)

I decided that this was not the time to allow anxiety to control me. I vowed to report complete victory through faith and refused to let fear dominate my life again.

Although I too was battling high fever, I took responsibility for coordinating every aspect of our family's care. I managed medicines, medical reports, oxygen monitoring, doctor consultations, finances, food arrangements, and testing schedules. Every action was preceded by daimoku and carried out with the determination to manifest the courage of a lion king.

As I checked everyone's oxygen levels and health reports each day, I also found my heart filling with gratitude. I prayed sincerely for the doctors, nurses, frontline workers, and every person risking their lives to serve others. I chanted for the well-being of relatives and friends who supported us during this difficult period.

Even on days when my own temperature remained high, I chose not to be defeated internally. I continued fulfilling my organizational responsibilities, encouraged members and friends over calls, studied Ikeda Sensei's guidance every day, and participated joyfully in meetings whenever possible. Instead of allowing illness to shrink my life, I expanded my concern to include everyone around me.

Every day presented a new challenge. My mother's oxygen levels fluctuated unexpectedly, but instead of panicking, I relied on daimoku and sought timely medical advice. When my father's scan revealed complications, appropriate treatment was arranged without delay. Again and again, I experienced how sincere prayer opened the way for the right people, correct treatment, and timely protection to appear.

Within a few weeks, every member of our family recovered safely. Our medications gradually stopped, and health steadily returned. Looking back, I realized that the greatest victory was not merely recovering from illness, but overcoming the anxiety that had once controlled my life.

During those difficult days, I also began writing a daily journal. Every evening I recorded my prayers, victories, challenges, and determinations, inspired by Ikeda Sensei's practice of keeping a youthful diary. This habit became a powerful dialogue with my mentor and helped me maintain hope regardless of the circumstances.

Today, I no longer define myself by fear or anxiety. Those struggles became the catalyst for discovering a much stronger self. They taught me that when prayer is combined with courageous action, gratitude, and compassion, even the most difficult situations become opportunities for profound human revolution.

I now continue praying for the protection and happiness of frontline workers, strive to encourage those facing similar struggles, and remain determined to base every challenge on faith. No matter what obstacles arise in the future, I am confident that the roar of Nam-myoho-renge-kyo will always awaken the courage needed to transform poison into medicine.