Fighting With Your Siblings? What Nichiren Daishonin Wrote About Brothers Who Wouldn't Take the Throne

When the people you grew up with become opponents

You shared a childhood. The same home, the same parents, the same memories. Now you can barely be in the same room.

Maybe it's old rivalry that never healed: a parent who always favoured one of you, comparisons that still sting. Maybe it's money: a parent's property, a family business, an inheritance that has turned siblings into adversaries, with lawyers, court dates and relatives taking sides.

Sibling conflict is uniquely painful because it attacks something we assume will always be there. And when money is involved, it can feel as if a lifetime of family love has been reduced to a share of a house.

If this is where you are, the Daishonin wrote to two brothers whose father was trying to use their inheritance to divide them.

What does the Gosho say about conflict between siblings?

Nichiren Daishonin told the Ikegami brothers the story of two princes who each refused their father's throne so the other could have it (WND-1, 498). He told the brothers, "You are like the two wings of a bird, or the two eyes of a person" (WND-1, 501). Siblings who stand together are strong; siblings divided by money or pride both lose.

Two princes who refused the throne

The Ikegami brothers' father disowned the elder brother because of his faith, and tempted the younger with the right to inherit if he would give up his faith. An inheritance was being used to split them apart.

The Daishonin wrote to them:

> "Two princes named Po I and Shu Ch'i were the sons of the ruler of Ku-chu in China. Their father had willed his title to the younger brother, Shu Ch'i, yet after he passed away, Shu Ch'i refused to ascend the throne. Po I urged Shu Ch'i to assume the title, but Shu Ch'i insisted that Po I, the elder brother, should do so instead." > — Letter to the Brothers, WND-1, 498

Two brothers, each offering the other the greatest prize their family had. Not fighting for it, but refusing to let it come between them.

Most inheritance disputes run the opposite way. The Daishonin held up this story as a mirror: what if each sibling thought first of the other?

Two wings of one bird

He then told the brothers:

> "You are like the two wings of a bird, or the two eyes of a person." > — Letter to the Brothers, WND-1, 501

A bird with one wing can't fly. A person with one eye loses depth of vision. However strong each of you is alone, something is lost when siblings are divided.

The Ikegami brothers held together. The younger brother did not take the bait of the inheritance. And in time their father not only reconciled with them but embraced their faith.

This doesn't mean you must give up what is fairly yours, or accept dishonesty. Sometimes legal processes are necessary. But how you go through them, with honesty, without hatred, keeping the door open, makes a great difference to what remains of your family afterwards.

One small step for tonight

Write down one good memory you share with your sibling, from before the conflict.

Chant for your sibling's happiness, as hard as that may be, and for a fair and peaceful resolution. Chant too for the wisdom to separate the issue from the person.

If there's a legal dispute, get sound legal advice and keep communication factual and calm. A neutral mediator can sometimes help families reach agreements that courts cannot.

When the courts and the family were both at stake

Amit's family was suddenly pulled into multiple court battles when his brother and cousin filed cases against their own parents over the family home. Every attempt to reason with them failed. A senior in faith encouraged him to turn this poison into medicine through faith. Instead of being consumed by anger, Amit and his wife deepened their practice and began supporting others, discovering how many families carry similar wounds. They prayed for truth and justice to prevail, and grew calm and confident even before anything changed outwardly. Gradually the right lawyer and the right support appeared, and the court recognised the false claims for what they were. The cases were dismissed, and the family was able to rebuild their home.

His story, and others like it, are below.

Frequently asked questions

How do I deal with siblings fighting over inheritance?

Get fair legal advice, stay honest, and try not to let the dispute turn into hatred. The Daishonin told two brothers about princes who each gave the throne to the other (WND-1, 498). Even if your siblings don't respond in kind, your own conduct shapes what is left of your family afterwards.

My parents always favoured my sibling. How do I let go of the resentment?

Acknowledge the hurt honestly, then chant to free yourself from carrying it. Resentment toward a sibling often protects an old wound from childhood. Healing that wound is your victory, whatever your sibling does.

What should I chant for when there's a property dispute in my family?

Chant for a fair resolution, for truth to come to light, for your siblings' happiness, and for your own calm and wisdom throughout.

Can a relationship with a sibling be repaired after a bitter dispute?

Yes, often more than people expect. Siblings are like "the two wings of a bird" (WND-1, 501). Many families find their way back once the money is settled and time has passed.

Which Gosho should I read when fighting with my siblings?

Letter to the Brothers (WND-1, 493–504).

Sources

All passages are from The Writings of Nichiren Daishonin, Volume I (WND-1):

- Letter to the Brothers, pp. 498, 501 - Background on the Ikegami brothers' inheritance: Background sections of Letter to the Brothers and The Three Obstacles and Four Devils