Moved Somewhere New and Don't Know Anyone? What Nichiren Daishonin Wrote From Exile

Title: Moved Somewhere New and Don't Know Anyone? What Nichiren Daishonin Wrote From Exile

When the new city doesn't know your name yet

You moved for a job, for studies, for marriage, or for a fresh start. The first week felt like an adventure. Now it just feels quiet.

You eat alone. Weekends are long. Everyone around you seems to already have their circle, and you don't know how to break in. Video calls with family help, then make it worse when they end. Sometimes you wonder whether you made a mistake coming here at all.

If you're in that in-between place, where the old life is far away and the new one hasn't started yet, the Daishonin knew it well. He was sent, against his will, to a place where he knew no one at all.

What does the Gosho say about being alone in a new place?

Nichiren Daishonin was exiled to Sado Island, where he knew no one. From there he wrote, "I feel immeasurable delight even though I am now an exile" (WND-1, 386): joy is possible even in a place where you are a stranger. And in time, local people there became some of his closest followers. To friends far away he later wrote, "Even though I cannot see you, I am certain that your heart is here" (WND-1, 596). Distance does not erase the bonds you carry with you.

Joy in a strange land

On Sado Island, the Daishonin lived in harsh conditions among people who had been told he was a dangerous criminal. Yet in a letter to Sairen-bo, a former priest who was also an exile on the island and had become his disciple, he wrote:

> "Because I view things this way, I feel immeasurable delight even though I am now an exile. Joy as well as sorrow moves us to tears." > — The True Aspect of All Phenomena, WND-1, 386

"Joy as well as sorrow." He didn't deny the sorrow of exile. But he found a joy that didn't depend on where he was, because it came from his sense of purpose.

A new place can feel like exile at first. But it is also a blank page. The purpose you bring, whether your work, your studies, your faith or your hopes for this chapter, can make it feel like home long before it looks like one.

Strangers who became family

Among the people of Sado were an elderly couple, Abutsu-bo and his wife, the lay nun Sennichi. Abutsu-bo had been a follower of another Buddhist school. Yet after meeting the Daishonin, the couple became his devoted followers. For more than two years they supplied him with food, writing materials and other necessities.

After the Daishonin left the island, Abutsu-bo, despite his advanced age, made the long journey across sea and mountains at least three times to visit him. To the lay nun of Ko, another Sado follower, the Daishonin wrote:

> "Even though I cannot see you, I am certain that your heart is here." > — Letter to the Lay Nun of Ko, WND-1, 596

In a place where he started with no one, he left behind people who remained his family for life. The people you will meet in your new place may be exactly that for you.

One small step for tonight

Find one regular gathering where you are: a class, a sports group, a volunteer group, a faith community or a local Buddhist meeting. Go once. Then go again. Friendships in a new place usually grow from repeated small encounters, not one big moment.

Chant for the people in this new place who will become your friends, and for the courage to show up even when it feels awkward.

If loneliness turns into persistent sadness or hopelessness, please talk to a doctor or counsellor. Moving is one of life's big stresses, and it's okay to need support.

A new place, and a hand reaching out

After marrying, Nandini applied for a transfer to the state where her husband was posted. The process became unexpectedly painful: because of misrepresentations about her work, her transfer was delayed for more than a year, and she felt isolated and misunderstood. During that difficult period, a young women's division member reached out to her warmly and helped her connect with fellow members in her new place. That encouragement became her lifeline. She kept chanting, held sincere conversations with her supervisors, and finally secured her transfer, going on to build trust and meaningful work in her new home.

Frequently asked questions

How do I make friends after moving to a new city?

Show up repeatedly to the same places, such as a class, a club or a faith community, so people get to know you over time. Chant for the courage to take the first step. The Daishonin started with no one on Sado and left with friends for life.

Is it normal to regret moving?

Yes, especially in the first months. Give yourself time. The Daishonin wrote of "immeasurable delight" even in exile (WND-1, 386). Purpose can make a strange place feel like home.

How do I cope with homesickness?

Stay connected with loved ones, but also invest in building a life where you are. The Daishonin reminded distant friends that "your heart is here" (WND-1, 596). The bonds you carry don't weaken because of distance.

What should I chant for after moving somewhere new?

Chant for good friends and good connections in your new place, for your work or studies to go well, and for the courage to step outside your comfort zone.

Which Gosho should I read after moving to a new place?

The True Aspect of All Phenomena (WND-1, 383–388) and Letter to the Lay Nun of Ko (WND-1, 595–597).

Sources

All passages are from The Writings of Nichiren Daishonin, Volume I (WND-1):

- The True Aspect of All Phenomena, p. 386 - Letter to the Lay Nun of Ko, p. 596 - Background on Abutsu-bo and Sennichi: Background sections of The Sutra of True Requital and The Treasure of a Filial Child