Someone You Love Is Seriously Ill? What Nichiren Daishonin Wrote to a Wife Praying for Her Husband

When you can't make it better

The phone call. The hospital corridor. The doctor's careful words. Someone you love, a parent, partner, child, brother, sister or friend, is seriously ill, and suddenly nothing else matters.

You'd take the illness yourself if you could. Instead, you sit in waiting rooms, read test results you only half understand, and try to stay strong in front of them while falling apart in the car park. Or perhaps your loved one is in a mental health crisis, and you feel helpless in a different, frightening way.

If someone you love is ill, the Daishonin wrote to people in exactly your place: wives praying for husbands, parents praying for children, followers anxious about epidemics sweeping through their families.

What does the Gosho say when someone you love is ill?

Nichiren Daishonin wrote to a wife about her husband's illness that the Buddha "was a superb physician" and that the Lotus Sutra is "good medicine for the ills of the people" (WND-1, 937). Your prayers for your loved one matter. He also affirmed that skilled physicians "prescribed medicines that never failed to heal physical sickness" (WND-1, 1111). Faith and the best medical care belong together.

A wife writes about her husband

The lay nun Myoshin wrote to the Daishonin, worried about her husband, who was seriously ill. He replied:

> "Concerning the matter of [your husband] the lay priest's illness, there were physicians in China named Huang Ti and Pien Ch'üeh, and there were physicians in India named Water Holder and Jivaka. They were the treasures of their age and teachers to the physicians of later times. But the man called the Buddha was a superb physician who far surpassed them." > — The Good Medicine for All Ills, WND-1, 937

He went on to say that the Lotus Sutra is "good medicine for the ills of the people," and that "it is not certain that, because one is ill, one will die" (WND-1, 937).

When someone you love is ill, you can feel completely powerless. The Daishonin's letter says otherwise. Your prayer is real medicine for their spirit, and for yours.

Good doctors and good medicine

When Toki Jonin wrote anxiously about epidemics raging through his community, the Daishonin explained:

> "These illnesses do not require a Buddha to cure them. Skilled physicians such as Water Holder and Water Carrier, Jivaka, and Pien Ch'üeh prescribed medicines that never failed to heal physical sickness." > — The Treatment of Illness, WND-1, 1111

The Daishonin trusted skilled doctors to treat the body. Support your loved one in getting the best care: ask questions, advocate for them, seek second opinions if needed. That is part of loving them well.

One small step for tonight

Write down the questions you need to ask the medical team tomorrow. Then ask one family member or friend to share one task with you this week, such as hospital visits, meals or calls.

Chant for your loved one's recovery and comfort, for wise and skilled doctors, and for your own strength. Chant too for the wisdom to know what they need from you: sometimes advocacy, sometimes simply your presence.

If your loved one is in a mental health crisis or at risk of harming themselves, contact emergency services or a crisis line immediately. If you are becoming exhausted from caring for them, see our article on caring for family.

Eighteen hours of chanting, and a turning point

When Riya's father was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, first discovered through a fracture in his arm, doctors said he might have less than three years. A biopsy suggested lymphoma, a rare but treatable possibility. Riya wrote down three determinations and began chanting with complete seriousness, joined by more than seventy people, nearly half of them not practising Buddhists. After many hours of chanting, her prayer shifted from fear to conviction. The biopsy confirmed lymphoma, and the cancer was treatable. Her father went through chemotherapy, his fractured bone healed naturally, and he remained cheerful throughout treatment.

Her story, and others like it, are below.

Frequently asked questions

What should I chant for when someone I love is seriously ill?

Chant for their recovery and comfort, for skilled doctors and the right treatment, and for your own strength and wisdom. The Daishonin told a wife praying for her husband that the Buddha was "a superb physician" (WND-1, 937).

Does my prayer really make a difference?

Many members experience that it does, both in their loved one's spirit and in their own capacity to support them. Your prayer is never wasted.

How can I stay strong for my loved one?

You don't have to be strong all the time. Let others support you too, and look after your own sleep, food and health.

What if my loved one doesn't practise Buddhism?

You can chant for anyone's happiness and recovery. Many members find their loved ones are touched by being prayed for, whether or not they share the faith.

Which Gosho should I read when a loved one is ill?

The Good Medicine for All Ills (WND-1, 937–939) and The Treatment of Illness (WND-1, 1111–1116).

Sources

All passages are from The Writings of Nichiren Daishonin, Volume I (WND-1):

- The Good Medicine for All Ills, p. 937 - The Treatment of Illness, p. 1111