Healing Family Relationships Through Buddhist Practice
Healing family relationships can begin with a difficult question: how do we keep caring without abandoning ourselves? When a home has been shaped by addiction, hardship, illness, or violence, advice to simply forgive or communicate better is not enough. The experiences of Rishabh, Ritik, and Kavita Mehra offer a more grounded perspective. Their accounts show Buddhist practice alongside real struggles—not as a shortcut to reconciliation, but as a source of determination to act, seek support, and recognize the dignity of one’s own life.
Two family experiences, not simple success stories
The supplied member stories contain two accounts, each shared at two URLs. The excerpts stop before their conclusions, so we will focus on what they actually describe rather than assume how either family’s circumstances ultimately developed.
That distinction matters. Healing family relationships is not always a story in which everyone changes together. Sometimes it begins with one person finding a different way to respond. Sometimes it requires distance, professional support, or protection from harm.
Rishabh and Ritik: faith alongside treatment and effort
In From Trauma And Despair To Rebuilding Our Family Together, Rishabh describes a childhood affected by his father’s alcohol addiction, severe financial hardship, and serious illness. His father had introduced the family to Soka in 2011, yet difficulties continued within the home.
One steady presence was his mother’s practice. Rishabh says, “my mother never stopped chanting.” He describes her daimoku as central to how the family endured. His account also names concrete developments: scholarships, recovery from illness, the beginning of Ritik’s treatment for bipolar disorder, and his own entry into engineering college in 2016.
These details belong together. They do not establish that chanting caused medical recovery. They show faith existing alongside treatment, educational opportunities, and personal effort.
Making room for pain without comparison
Ritik’s account, also included in the second shared version of the family’s experience, describes bullying, psychiatric diagnoses, and devastating disappointment after an unsuccessful film-school entrance examination.
“I constantly compared myself with others,” he recalls. “I felt broken.”
For families, these words invite listening rather than judgment. A relative’s distress should not be measured against another person’s achievements or treated as evidence of insufficient faith. Support can include respecting treatment, asking what help is welcome, and allowing someone to speak without immediately correcting their feelings.
Rishabh later describes reflecting on Ikeda Sensei’s faith in young people and questioning whether to continue blaming his father and circumstances. The excerpt ends during this reflection. We can recognize a shift toward agency without inventing what followed—or suggesting that his father’s conduct no longer mattered.
Kavita Mehra: compassion must include oneself
In Rising Beyond Every Limitation, Kavita Mehra’s experience includes childhood bereavement, interrupted education, exhausting household labor, financial control, and domestic violence. During pregnancy, she was assaulted after resisting pressure to have an abortion.
Her daughter Anushka became a reason to resist despair. In 2005, while working to support herself and her daughter, Kavita Mehra encountered Nichiren Buddhism.
Despite opposition at home, the account says she “continued chanting quietly for everyone’s happiness.” She eventually attended meetings more openly and supported other members, developing a sense that she could contribute to others’ lives.
A changing atmosphere is not the same as safety
The second shared version of Kavita Mehra’s experience includes a crucial complication: although acceptance of her practice initially grew, arguments and violence later intensified. Her daughter lived in fear.
The excerpt then describes an emerging recognition about respecting her own life. This must never be read as an explanation for why she was abused. Responsibility for violence lies with the person committing it, not with someone’s level of self-respect or Buddhist practice.
The practical lesson is that compassion includes oneself and one’s children. No one needs to remain in danger to demonstrate faith. Where violence or coercive control is present, confidential specialist support and safety planning take priority over attempts at family dialogue. If danger is immediate, contact local emergency services when safe to do so.
Buddhist principles for healing family relationships
Faith, practice, and study support action
In Nichiren Buddhism, faith, practice, and study work together. Faith involves confidence in the possibility of bringing forth wisdom, courage, and compassion. Practice includes chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo, Gongyo, and efforts for oneself and others. Study helps turn Buddhist teachings into thoughtful daily choices.
The Gohonzon is the object of devotion in Nichiren Buddhist practice, not a means of controlling another person. Prayer before the Gohonzon can be directed toward bringing forth the wisdom to respond constructively, while respecting that relatives make their own choices.
Human revolution is not self-blame
Human revolution refers to profound inner transformation expressed in everyday life. In a family, this might mean listening more carefully, taking responsibility for one’s harmful behavior, or setting a necessary boundary.
It does not mean that one person caused every family problem or can solve everything alone. Rishabh’s reflection on blame and Kavita Mehra’s growing concern for her own dignity illuminate different aspects of agency—not obligations to excuse harm.
Changing poison into medicine does not justify suffering
This principle describes the possibility of creating value from painful circumstances through faith and action. It does not make abuse beneficial or suffering necessary. Supporting another person, continuing education, or seeking protection can be ways of refusing to let hardship define the whole of one’s life.
Practical steps
1. Name what needs attention. Distinguish a disagreement from intimidation, coercion, or violence. The appropriate response depends on safety, not only on a wish for harmony. 2. Choose a grounded prayer. Rather than trying to make someone behave differently, chant with a determination to bring forth courage, discernment, and respect for everyone’s dignity—including your own. 3. Connect prayer with one action. Consider apologizing for something specific, keeping an appointment, asking for support, or stating a boundary. These are possibilities, not a checklist for earning results. 4. Seek dialogue only where it is safe. A trusted practitioner may offer encouragement through home visits and dialogue. Such support complements, rather than replaces, medical care or domestic-abuse services. 5. Reflect without judging yourself. Notice what you learned and what support you still need. Chanting duration is not a measure of worth, and difficult days do not erase your efforts.
Frequently asked questions
Can chanting heal a family relationship?
Chanting can be part of cultivating the courage and compassion to act differently. It cannot guarantee reconciliation or another person’s behavior. Repair also depends on safety, accountability, and willing participation.
Does Buddhism require forgiving someone who is abusive?
Forgiveness must not be demanded as a condition of practice. Protecting yourself and seeking help are compatible with respect for life. Compassion does not require continued contact or exposure to harm.
What if my family does not share my practice?
You can practice without pressuring relatives to join. Where safe, explain what your practice means to you and respect their choices. Shared belief is not a prerequisite for respectful communication.
When you feel ready, gently begin tracking your daily chanting with the app’s chanting timer and tracking tools, at a pace that supports your life.