Family Against Your Buddhist Practice? What Nichiren Daishonin Wrote About Children Who Lead Their Parents

When the people closest to you object to what gives you strength

Maybe your parents think chanting is strange, or a betrayal of your family's traditions. Maybe a sibling mocks you. Maybe you've been told to stop, to keep it hidden, or to choose between your practice and your family's approval.

So you chant quietly behind a closed door, or not at all for a while. You feel torn: you don't want to hurt your family, and you don't want to lose the one thing that has helped you most.

If this is your situation, you're walking a path many of the Daishonin's own followers walked, and some of the most hopeful stories in the Gosho came out of it.

What does the Gosho say about family opposing your faith?

Nichiren Daishonin wrote that the princes "Pure Storehouse and Pure Eye used the Lotus Sutra to lead their father, who held erroneous views, to enlightenment" (WND-1, 443): a child's faith can eventually open a parent's heart. He also told a disciple that sincere practice "with both the physical and spiritual aspects of your life" would enable him "to save your father and mother" (WND-1, 204). Your practice isn't a rejection of your family. It can become a gift to them.

Two sons who led their father

In the Lotus Sutra there is a story of two princes, Pure Storehouse and Pure Eye, whose father held views opposed to the Buddha's teaching. The sons didn't argue or abandon him. Through their own conduct and sincerity, they eventually led their father to the Buddha. The Daishonin referred to them often, and wrote to Shijo Kingo:

> "Pure Storehouse and Pure Eye used the Lotus Sutra to lead their father, who held erroneous views, to enlightenment." > — On Rebuking Slander of the Law and Eradicating Sins, WND-1, 443

The Ikegami brothers lived this out. Their father opposed their faith for more than twenty years and disowned the elder brother twice. They stayed respectful and steady, and in 1278 their father himself took faith.

Family opposition often comes from love and fear: worry that you're being misled, that you're leaving the family's ways, that something bad will happen to you. Patience and respect, rather than argument, give that fear time to ease.

Your practice can protect your family

On the night before he was exiled to Sado Island, the Daishonin wrote to his disciple Nichiro, who was being held in a prison cell:

> "Admirable Nichiro, because you have read the entirety of the Lotus Sutra with both the physical and spiritual aspects of your life, you will also be able to save your father and mother, your six kinds of relatives, and all living beings." > — Letter to Priest Nichiro in Prison, WND-1, 204

Sincere practice doesn't separate you from your family. In Buddhist understanding, it creates benefit that reaches them, including the people who oppose it.

That's why many members chant for their families' happiness rather than for their families to approve. When your family sees you becoming kinder, more capable and more grateful toward them, their opposition often softens.

One small step for tonight

Do one thing for your parents or siblings this week that shows them your practice is making you more caring toward them, not less: help with a task, call more often, listen without defending yourself.

Chant for their happiness by name. Keep your practice steady but low-key, without provoking conflict.

If opposition turns into threats, violence or being thrown out of your home, your safety comes first. Please read our article on abuse and control, and reach out for help.

From the streets to a family that changed its mind

When a schoolteacher introduced a young girl to chanting, her family had just lost their home and was living on the streets. Her parents were against the practice. But chanting gave her a new sense of self-belief, and she resolved to become "the sun" of her family, praying for a home for their joint family. She worked hard and excelled in her exams in Grades 10 and 12. Seeing the change in her, her parents had a change of heart about the practice, and she was able to introduce her sisters and cousins to it as well. Her father later bought land and built a house for the family, and she went on to university on a full scholarship.

Her story, and others like it, are below.

Frequently asked questions

My parents don't want me to chant. What should I do?

Keep your faith steady but gentle, show respect, and let your actions speak. The Daishonin taught that children's faith can lead their parents to happiness, like the princes Pure Storehouse and Pure Eye (WND-1, 443).

Am I betraying my family by practising Buddhism?

No. Sincere practice is meant to benefit your family. The Daishonin wrote that it enables one "to save your father and mother" (WND-1, 204). Show them, through how you live, that it makes you a better family member.

Should I argue with my family about my faith?

Rarely. Arguments usually harden positions. Calm explanations when they ask, and visible change in your life, are far more persuasive.

What should I chant for when my family opposes my practice?

Chant for your family's happiness and health, for harmony at home, and for your own life to show the value of the practice.

Which Gosho should I read when my family opposes my faith?

On Rebuking Slander of the Law and Eradicating Sins (WND-1, 435–446) and Letter to Priest Nichiro in Prison (WND-1, 204–205).

Sources

All passages are from The Writings of Nichiren Daishonin, Volume I (WND-1):

- On Rebuking Slander of the Law and Eradicating Sins, p. 443 - Letter to Priest Nichiro in Prison, p. 204 - Background on the Ikegami brothers: Background section of Letter to the Brothers